Mom Tips

I saw this on a blog and thought it was great. I still haven't read it all....but if it ends like the beginning. It'll be great and give any parent some idea to help them....So here you go!!

Tips and Tricks That Really Work
. . . Submitted by Moms Who Use Them!

25 Tips from Tearsa (Virginia):

1) Motto: "Do Today's Work Today" - the best idea from a book I read a few years ago about homemaking (basically, preparing healthy meals, having clean clothes, and safety/health are the most basic temporal things that really should be attended to every single day). When the basics are covered at least a little every day, things go smoother!

2) You can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes! Use a timer and set it for small increments to keep motivated. Housework, homework, paying bills, reading, whole house tidy, etc.

3) Positive Reinforcement and Praise Really Works (so does bribing when desperate, like smiling for family pictures, etc.)

4) Familiar Routines Get Things Done - ie. Before School Routine, After School Routine, Quick Clean Up before Dinner (nobody eats until things are tidy), Dinner Clean-Up Routine, Family Song and Prayer Every Night, Clear the Car of every single thing every time you get out, etc.

5) Hair Control: Dilute Hair Gel with mostly water in a small spray bottle and keep it handy with a brush or comb for quick control of Dinosaur or Mohawk hair (can be done during breakfast but don't let the spray land in the cereal bowl!) Keep one in the car in case you need it on the way to school or church!

6) Wake up CD – our kids’ alarm clock also has a CD player and my husband burns a CD with songs to wake them up at the beginning of each school year (and sometimes half way through. It gets them motivated to move, and the last song tells them it’s time to be ready for school, or downstairs ready for breakfast, etc. (ie. Over the Rainbow by IZ, You are My Sunshine by VeggieTales, Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baha Boys, Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top, 1000 miles by The Proclaimers, Time for Me to Fly by REO Speedwagon)

7) Put toothbrushes through the dishwasher often to keep everybody well!

8) Keep a small trash container near the dryer and cleaning supplies/paper towels in each bathroom (Favorites: Windex All Purpose Cleaner/Lemon and Clorox Spray Cleaner but don’t bleach your clothes!) – the toilet/sink (kills germs) and dryer vent (prevents house fires) is more likely to get cleaned. Also the kids can do quick touch-ups with no excuses!

9) Rotate perishables from 72 hour kits (or will, family journal, etc.) every six months (if you have one) around General Conference weekend (April and October) – my mom let the kids pig out on all the candy and junk while watching general conference

10) Feed big huge breakfast (ie. whole wheat pancakes) to kids before church to promote sleepiness … I mean reverence! during church services (my mom did this growing up and it totally worked!)

11) Get flu shots at health center = cheaper and you don’t have to pay your insurance co-pay, and the whole family can go at the same time. We cheer each other on, and moms get to show their true bravery in front of the kids. Our youngest is the bravest in our family:-)

12) When your dinner clean-up crew is whiny or slow, tell them to hurry up because you’re going to use the table to play a game! Mom gets to play, too, if everyone helps! Then they want to help because they want you to play. We play ongoing Mexican Train Domino games over several nights (or other pretty quick games in succession)

13) Organize kitchen cupboards so the cups, etc. are down low and easy to access (so kids can get their own drinks – color code them if you want) and all the things needed to set the table and put most things away from the dishwasher (then they can unload the dishwasher!)

14) Ideas for chores for young children: sharpen pencils, swat flies, dust (let’s see how dirty you can get this sock!), empty bathroom trash cans into big trash can in kitchen, set table, empty clean silverware from the dishwasher, straighten the books, gather toothbrushes for cleaning in the dishwasher, tidy the shoe shelf, find all the library books, put a whole bag of carrot sticks, grapes, etc. and boxes of healthy snacks in snack size baggies ahead of time so they can be thrown into lunch boxes in a hurry (and cheaper)

15) Make screensaver/login password something hard to spell like “Chesapeake” or “California” and change it to something new after you’ve caved and given and told it to them and they’ve also figured out how to spell it correctly

16) Our Family Motto: “All for one and one for all” – we voted on this as a family. We also use this to remind us to cheer for each other, help one another, work together, talk nicely, etc.

17) Use time travelling or waiting in the car to listen to books from the library on CD

18) Where possible make punishments have something to do with the consequence of the negative behavior (ie. forgetting lunch box = make your own lunch, not tidying room before school = no playing with neighbors after school unless you pay mom to do it for you - because it’s not “fit for company”, once in a while: hurting someone physically or emotionally = helping them with a chore, or being their “slave” for a certain amount of time, which often ends up in giggles NOTE: only a kind natured child can be trusted to be a slaveholder, and parents get to oversee, bad or disrespectful words=hot sauce or soap)

19) Every so often have the kids take turns being “the mom” for a set amount of time. They soon find how difficult it is to motivate, encourage, respond to negativity or whining, and keep the peace (let alone the amount of work mom actually does!) and they learn to show more respect for you. Sometimes they even beg to become the kid again!

20) To promote quick feelings of love and harmony, tell everyone to pile on your bed and read stories or talk, and then do lots of listening OR: Have Banana Splits or cereal for dinner and spend the extra time saved in the kitchen doing something fun together.

21) To calm a very angry boy down, ask him to run a few laps around the yard or dig in the dirt or shoot some hoops and then come back when he feels like talking or after a certain amount of time (to distract him from hitting or wrecking stuff!)

22) Inexpensive Afternoon Vacation: Go park hopping – spend 15 minutes or so at several different nearby parks, one after the other. The kids love this!

23) The Nice Seat: A child that is having trouble being nice to their siblings gets put in “The Nice Seat” aka Dad. He has them lie down on their back facing away with their head in his lap and his hands/”probes” robotically attach to both sides of the child at the ribs. Then he asks questions that they must answer about their siblings honestly. (ie. “Do you like Meagan?” “Tell me something good about Timmy.” If he suspects they are being insincere or they answer unkindly, the “probes” begin to move, causing a tickling sensation. He lets them up when they are saying nice things and are happy.

24) First Aid for Cracked or Bleeding Nipples While Nursing: Stop nursing on the side that is the worst for at least overnight (pump if you have to). Put some Pure Lanolin ointment on the nipple and cover it with a piece of plastic wrap, then your regular clothes. Leave it on overnight and only nurse on the other side. Take it off in the morning and wash up. It heals like magic! Then do the other side. Repeat if necessary.

25) If a DS game accidentally gets washed and dried in the dryer, don’t throw it out! Try it first to see if it works! Several have made it through …. It’s amazing!
Tips from my Aunt Bev (Utah):
“I think it's really important to get your priorities straight, and make sure your husband & kids know you love them, but don't be too lenient either. Teaching with good music is helpful too. Don't get into debt & Follow the Prophet. To us: weekly FHE, daily family scripture study, and family prayer night & morning are priorities. Our married kids have thanked us for these 3 things. Just work hard together at loving each other!”

Tips from my sister Bethany (Utah):
- “My old roommate has a family motto she posted. It says, "We can do hard things!" They refer to it often when kids are whining and complaining.
- When my son is overwhelmed and can't complete a task (like dress himself, or put his clothes away, or pick up some toys), I've found that it helps him at his age to break the task up. For example, "Put your arms through the sleeves. Good. Now put your head through the hole." Or, "Pick up all the red blocks. Now pick up the blue blocks, etc." It helps to break up the task when your child is easily frustrated. It's tedious, but at least he actually completes the action rather than us just fighting about it.
- Eating healthy foods. Give your kids a choice. Would you like broccoli or grapes? Oranges or spinach? Carrots or apples? As you try new foods eventually combine 2 choices that are not their favorite and because you've asked them a million times, it doesn't seem to bad.
- When our kids aren't listening (ie: running around like chickens with their heads cut off), my husband says, "Boys, front and center!" They know to freeze and stand in front of him like a soldier. Then we have about 30 seconds to give them instructions before we lose their attention again. We don't use it very often so it stays effective.
- have your kids brush their teeth as long as it takes to sing a certain song, like Happy Birthday, or the ABCs.
-One FHE (by myself) I got a bowl of skittles and told the kids if they asked a good question or made an interesting comment, they would get a skittle. Immediately, Spencer said, "Mom, that's a nice picture of the temple. What is it for?" (I was laughing so hard. he got a skittle for paying attention). :)
- When I'm not sure if my kids are telling the truth, I say (to my 6 year-old), "If I had a video camera on the wall right THERE, and I played back what just happened, what would I see?" Somehow that helps him tell the truth a little more.
- When your kids don't stay in bed, and if you don't have a way to lock them inside (ie- toddler learning to stay in own bed), throw a towel over the top of the door and pull it shut. It wedges the child in, but the door isn't locked. (This saved my life when we were renting and couldn't install locks!)”

Tips from my friend Jolyn (Virginia):
“One thing that really works for us on road trips is to check out books on tapes/CD from the Library. The kids love this, it stimulates their imaginations and they don't fight! Our road trips are filled with adventure, humor, or lots of plain old fun, instead of fighting and bickering. Now that the kids have iPods, we can download stuff to our library and load it on their iPods if they have different tastes in books. It's still working after 7 plus years!”

Tips from my Sister-in-Law Jean (Pennsylvania):
“One trick I learned - when pre-teen, teen girls are not cooperative, asking them to do something (like a chore) doesn't always work. However, I found if I IM'ed the girls (or now text them) that they are more apt to respond positively. Try it!

- Bathroom Tips for lots of kids in 1 bathroom: Everybody their own color of toothpaste, brush, etc. and put it in a bag that they bring in and out with them. Also color code the towels. Then you know whose stuff is laying around and whose toothpaste is in the sink!

Tip from my Mother-in-Law Vina (New York):
To encourage fairness: Have one kid cut or divide the food item (sandwich, cookie, whatever) and the other kid gets to pick which one they want.



Tips from my friend LeeAnn (Utah):
“Whenever possible say yes to your kids' requests.

Start discipline when your children are young. Even if they are "good" most of the time, you need a rapport with them that will take you both through the teenage years. They will not allow you to discipline them when they're older if you didn't when they were young.

Spend time hanging out on the living room couch and notice how many family members slowly but surely gravitate there too. :) I use this one all the time. Then my hubby and I watch the kids play and joke and sometimes fuss. We all talk. Sometimes we even pull out our scriptures -- but not usually. This is just a nice time together with no expectations.

The number one thing you can do is build a positive relationship with each child. Be a good listener. Sometimes this one kills me. I force myself to sit and listen to my daughter practice piano. I don't criticize or correct -- ever. I learned that one the hard way. Now I sit and let her do all the talking/playing. Sometimes it takes an hour or more.

Develop the language of the scriptures in your parenting. I use the terms hither and thither alot. It started as a joke, but now is a habit. I then heard a conference talk about this. We are obligated to teach our children. They won't learn necessarily by traditional family scripture study as much as they will if you are using some verbage from the scriptures on a regular basis. Then when we read it in the scriptures everyone already understands it. It's cool!

Subscribe to the newspaper. The kids will notice. They'll learn that being informed is good.

After 15+ years, my kids still can't still on the pew at church.

My kids brush their teeth once a week whether they need it or not. LOL

I do 2 crock pot meals per week. Then I'm not always as rushed around dinner time and I feel more relaxed.

I do my visiting teaching on the same day every month. That's one of my biggest scheduling difficulties as it involves so many households.

None of my family really loves to eat veggies or fruits so I mix up The Green Drink a few times a week. It has spinach, kale, soy milk, v8 smoothie, 1 frozen banana, 6 frozen strawberries, and vanilla yogurt. While this isn't exactly 5 a day -- it's helping. On the days I do make it, it's at least 5 for that day. :) My friend Karen gave me the recipe. I had to change it a bit to fit my family's tastes.

I re-direct little ones a lot using poems and rhymes. Again, this is to develop a positive relationship with them so that they don't start the habit of yelling, etc. Even if the only thing the poem does is to interrupt their thought process, that's usually enough to get their attention and then they're receptive to doing what you need them to do.

I don't force anyone to wear shoes or coats. (And here in Utah it gets pretty cold.) I let them have as much control over their own lives as we (Lee and I) can tolerate. The little ones go bare foot A LOT!!!! The bigger ones go to school and church without coats A LOT!!!! They haven't died yet. j/k”

Tip from my friend Correne (Idaho):
“Okay ... one thing I did so I wouldn't have to clean up pee all over the floor was to start out my marriage the very first week by insisting that my husband sit down when he pees. I told him that he could stand up if he would take over the job of cleaning all the toilets and the surrounding floors and walls. However, if he sat down....I would clean the toilets. So, he opted to sit down. Now all my boys sit down. It has been lovely. It is my girl that has the problem of leaving dribbles on the seat! Never imagined that one when I was initiating my plan. And funny thing is, the boys think it is a great treat to use a public restroom cuz they get to stand up! The beauty of small pleasures!”


Tips for children with challenges from my friend Shauna (Virginia):
“We give our 9 year old daughter a weekly allowance of $5.00 IF she completes all her chores without complaining. Then throughout the week if there is any negative behavior, she loses $.50. We keep a chart on the fridge and add a tally mark for each negative behavior. At the end of the week we bring out the $5.00 and subtract the amount she lost for the negative behavior. This has been working great so far, because she likes to get money.

Another good tip I received from a counselor is when trying to get her to clean her room, I write the items she needs to clean up on a separate index card. I hand the index card with PUT BARBIES IN BARBIE BOX, to my daughter, and she cleans up the Barbies, then brings back the card when finished and I give her another card: PUT PET SHOPS IN PET SHOP BOX, etc. and you do this until the room is picked up. This works very well for kids who get overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

Another idea is to keep a coloring book (I use a coloring book with things in it that my daughter doesn't like - boy stuff) or notebook with blank paper put away for the really over emotional moments. Bring it out and have the child scribble out their anger on the coloring book, or write down their feelings in notebook, kind of like a journal used only for those tender, upset moments. This helps to calm a child on their own, when nothing else works!”

Tips From my Aunt Linda (Utah, corresponding from Israel):
“When the children would squabble on long trips I used to have difficulty dealing with it because I become motion sick when I’d turn around. 2 things worked:

1) Bring a “squirt-bottle” (a good one with long trajectory)

If there began to be contention, I’d pick up the squirt bottle from the front seat and squirt away. Things always toned down in a hurry.

2) Go sit in a back bench between children who struggled to get along. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this one sooner. It immediately took care of the problem (as long as the road wasn't too windy for me).

Because my husband was always gone and I still wanted to have one on one time with the children, I used to plan “special time” for one day each week. Each child had 30 min. (I know that seems like little, but even that was a challenge with 8) to do with me whatever they wanted at our home (since I couldn’t leave the others). We did things like: I watched them to handstands or cartwheels and cheered wildly; played Scrabble; made cookies (they had to take turns making treats so we didn’t end up with 8 treats on one day); near their birthday I made them take one to update their individual picture journal for the past year; art projects; sewing little items; cleaning out “junk drawers;” once one of my older daughters decided I was an illiterate at the computer because I didn’t know any computer games, so she made me sit down and taught me how to play Pac Man; bike rides, etc. Our family did not watch TV, so during the week I’d tape some programs I thought they’d like and saved them only for this time. It made it fun for those who weren’t having their special time right then.

Hide & Go Seek in the Dark. One of our children was terrified of the dark. We began playing “flashlight tag” and it cured the problem. We took the frightened child with one adult and closed our eyes (with a flashlight in hand) and counted. Meantime we turned out all the lights and my husband helped the children hide in random places all over the house. After the count, the child would turn on the flashlight and we’d hunt out the children in the most random places imaginable. He hid them in the dryer (I don’t recommend that one), in cupboards (he’d dump everything out and tuck them inside), on top of the fridge…

Occasionally dish duty time became negative. Rather than help the children DO their jobs, I found that if I sat at the table and read stories to them, it resolved the problem even faster and they didn’t resent the time they spent working.

Job Charts – We used the same job chart for 20 yrs. with our children. The only difference between jobs was their one “individual job” that rotated. The baby always started with “Treasure Hunting” for their job. They dug out any old bottles under the crib.”

Tips from Aunt Linda’s Daughter (my cousin) Rebecca (Utah):
“I'm not a mom yet, but my mom used to do "special time" with us each week--since there were so many kids, we didn't always get one on one time with her, so that would be our special 1/2 hour, where we could do whatever we wanted with mom--even have her watch us play computer games, or clean out a junk drawer.”

Tips from my Cousin Candace (Utah):
“As for sitting together at church, I let my kids draw after the sacrament has been blessed and passed and the deacons and priests are dismissed. This keeps my kids reverent for sacrament and quiet during the talks. Then, I have them clean up during the closing song. That way they are ready to go to class right after the closing prayer.

As for brushing teeth, I have to constantly remind my kids, even my 11-year-old, to brush morning and night. Fortunately, they are honest in telling me if they have or not. Every once in a while I will check their toothbrushes to see if they are wet from brushing without them knowing. If they haven't, I have them do it right then. If they are too tired, I will brush their teeth for them; this also helps to make sure that their teeth are still getting brushed properly.

Hygiene works best with good habits. When my kids come in the door from school, they know to take off their shoes at the door and wash their "school germs" off of their hands. They also know to do this whenever we come home from the store or a park. I have had them do this from the time they were toddlers. I rarely have to remind them to wash up, which is nice.

Schedules are easy to maintain if I keep it simple and don't overload my children. We keep it to one extracurricular activity at a time. I also use a big desk calendar to keep track of everyone's separate activities for the day. I make sure to check this morning, noon, and night to keep from forgetting what needs to happen that day.

I have found that errands are easiest done alone. It's nice that I have an 11-year-old who is responsible enough to take care of her siblings when I'm out.

I am so far behind in my scrap booking, but I'm much less stressed about it now that I discovered you can have your blog printed into a book! To me, this is much easier than scrap booking! It also gives you more room to journal about things, too.

I have found that my kids do better when they aren't paid to do chores. They get an allowance every other week that coordinates with my husband’s payday. I am also helping them to save their money by not letting them spend it so quickly!

An effective way to discipline bad behavior has been to take away money from their allotted allowance. First, I give a warning that if they don't stop the behavior they will lose a dollar. Usually, they will stop the behavior right away. Money seems to be a great motivator with my kids. This method of discipline also helps me to avoid spanking my kids, which I feel is not the best form of discipline.

Here's a GREAT laundry tip that I learned from my mother-in-law: get baskets for each of your children and write their names on them with a permanent marker. Then, use the baskets to sort your clean laundry in. Next, give the baskets to your kids and have them hang-up, fold, and put away their clothes. It's amazing how a huge basket of laundry is done in no time. This has simplified my laundry duty greatly, and the kids can't complain about doing their own laundry.

As for getting ready to go places, I have found that the more time you have, the less stressed and frantic you become trying to make sure that everyone is ready to go. Having the kids pick out their clothes the night before also helps prevent morning meltdowns over what they are going to wear.”

Organizing and Budgeting Tips from my Sister Sarah (Arizona):
“I still have a “To Do” box that I go through once a month or so to make sure there’s nothing in there that now is a MUST do. But many times things just stay in that box for months at a time.

So I’ve been doing something a little different lately. I’ve always been a to-do list person. I have one big To-Do list that I’m constantly adding and taking things away from. But in addition to that running list, I try to sit down each week and find ONE thing to get done each day. If I can get ONE think knocked off my to-do list each night, even something as small and seemingly simple as “find a dentist” online, that’s something! Or, clean out one kitchen cupboard. Or call/email so and so. Or file my stack of bills and papers that have piled up for a few months. Or research such and such on the internet. Or vacuum. Just getting ONE THING accomplished does wonders. I feel like the day was not an entire waste, I did something! And then I deserve to relax and don’t need to feel guilty about watching some TV. But the key for me is I need to have it planned ahead of time what that one thing is going to be or I don’t end up getting anything done.

Tonight’s item is pull out my box of winter clothes from the storage unit down the hall (it got to the 50’s last night!). But I’m not going to necessarily work on unpacking it tonight and packing up the summer stuff., I’m just bringing the box in the house. Baby steps.

Budgeting…one idea I really like and might someday use is where the husband and wife each get a certain amount of money each month to use as they please. No questions asked. This has never been a problem for us, but I know it has for many couples where one spends more than the other on things that might be considered “frivolous” or whatever. But if each gets a certain amount from the monthly budget to spend as they please (on cd’s, earrings, extra baby sitter time, books, dvd’s, concert tickets, smoothies, etc.) then there can be no complaining from the other spouse. We don’t all have to have the same interests. Steve might be interested in going out with the guys to play golf (his newest hobby), whereas I might enjoy going out with friends for coffee or to a movie, or buying a new book I’ve been wanting to read.”

Tips from my Cousin Janel (Utah):
“I recently read a blog where the writer said that she tries to do three things every single day--I think she was a mom with pre-school and toddler kids at home. She called them her Three Dailies (Daylies?)
1. A craft/project (even small) with her kids
2. Make sure they get exercise each day--some form of running around outside, bike riding, etc.
3. Read 10 minutes to them.

Since I'm in that phase of my life, those ideas really stuck with me. I also, personally, think that it is essential for me to go to bed on time, or I am guaranteed that no tricks will work.

PS--More preschool stuff: My sister uses the gospel art kit to teach daily scripture time to her small son, and he has learned a ton. I've been impressed.”

Tips from my friend Nora (Virginia):

“- sitting on the pew together at church - a mary poppins bag of treats! 5lbs of treats and plenty of other surprises!! ha ha!
- schedules - start an hour ( yes and hour) before the scheduled time. such as bed time. at my house bed time is 8:30 so we start at 7:30. bath, and then we brush their teeth before they leave the br.
- brushing teeth :-) / hygiene - i tell them that there is a "stinky monster" in there and i need to get it out. and as i brush their teeth i play like "he" is jumping from the side i was brushing to the side im going to. they have fun spitting the "stinky monster" out.
- car trips, errands - be good or i'll beat your tail!! lol!! kidding. we play a math game! police are worth 20 points, motorcycles are worth 10 points, bugs are 5 points and newly added mustangs are 1 point. it keeps them busy and helps with math skills!! have fun if you add this to your road trips! we also play the abc game. and as an adult we have to get two of each letter before moving on to the next.
- mealtime/food - the kids help cook. not always the fastest, but they have tons of fun!
- one on one time - what is that?? i knock it out all at once!! one child hits the ball, the other child picks them up until it's his turn and the youngest plays keep away!! lol
- family togetherness/fun - they help to plan family time and treats. my oldest son assigns each person their job for the night.
- homework, chores, responsibility - job chart!! my oldest son runs a little when he gets home. he has a small snack and hw is done before games or play!!
- realistic expectations - it has to fit their range of understanding. talk about it - explain fully but simply.
- behavior management - treasure box!! i'm the only one with the combo and before school my son picks out what he wants when he has a good day...if it's good he gets it. if he's not, we talk about it and it goes back in. as my littlest is being potty trained - he gets a treat for going on the toilet.
- family rules or mottos that teach principles or grow great kids - do it or mommy wont be happy. - kidding again. will that make jesus happy? how would you feel if someone did that to you??
- teaching moments, fhe - i read my Sunday school lesson out loud and ask the kids about my lesson (14-16 year old class) as i go. it's amazing what they pick up on our already know! there is a lesson for everything!
- keeping things simple - get on their level and use small words. (kiss - keep it simple stupid)
- getting kids' attention, helping them focus on tasks at hand - i have a belt handy!! lol!! or hot sauce - which ever fits the crime! really, but to answer you better. i help them by telling them/ him to stay on task. what are we trying to accomplish?? what do we want/need to do next? what is our goal?
- helping getting ready to go be smoother / transitions - talk about it and explain what i expect of them?? then talk about it when it's all done with.
- organizing, budgeting, getting things done - do it right the first time! make a list!
- mottos or quotes - mommy's the boss!!
- classroom ideas that would work at home - if i'm talking - your mouth is closed. i rule!!
- photo management/scrapbooks, journals - dump your card onto the computer/external - organize them and scrapbook according to folder.”